I'm in a religious country, and my religious supervisor is praying. What should I do?











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My supervisor and all his other doctoral students are practicing religious, while I am not and am "non-religious".



We never discuss religion together, but sometimes they all leave to pray together, and they leave me alone. which make me uncomfortable.
Surely, if they know I'm "non-religious," it will annoy them.





How do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once and for all?
Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?



EDIT: I am in a predominantly Muslim country, MENA, and not being Muslim is not very welcomed in general. For example, eating during the month of Ramadan is not legal, and can be a source of physical or mental violence in the street. So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral students, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.










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  • 63




    Aren’t they leaving to go pray somewhere else to not make you feel uncomfortable?
    – Jon Custer
    yesterday






  • 8




    While I don't know your location, my default answer to this would be "no, you should not do anything that makes you uncomfortable and surely not pretend to be religious in front of your supervisor or anybody else". The nuances on how to deal with this might be easier to suggest if you give us some hint of your location. But, what I'm really interested in is your statement that "Surely if they knew I am not religious it will annoy them" - how do you know that? Have you seen them treat non-religious students unfavourably, is it your funded or unfunded assumption, or something else?
    – penelope
    yesterday






  • 17




    I feel this question requires a much more precise location. Muslim countries vary wildly regarding the tolerance of non religious people. While in some of these countries it would be fine to "come out", in many of these you could be risking your life or your scholarship. So obviously whether or not talking to your supervisor is appropriate depends completely in which case you are. MENA is huge, so it does not really say much about which possibility you are in.
    – Bakuriu
    yesterday






  • 17




    @penelope: No that is bad advice. One must consider the repercussions of publicly denying religion in countries whose population will react badly to it. One might even have to pretend to be religious to preserve one's own life, especially if one intends to eventually leave such a country. It is really a waste to sacrifice unnecessarily.
    – user21820
    21 hours ago






  • 7




    If you don't go pray with them, how did they not figure out yet that you are not religious? Do they think you pray alone at a different time?
    – idkfa
    21 hours ago















up vote
35
down vote

favorite
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My supervisor and all his other doctoral students are practicing religious, while I am not and am "non-religious".



We never discuss religion together, but sometimes they all leave to pray together, and they leave me alone. which make me uncomfortable.
Surely, if they know I'm "non-religious," it will annoy them.





How do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once and for all?
Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?



EDIT: I am in a predominantly Muslim country, MENA, and not being Muslim is not very welcomed in general. For example, eating during the month of Ramadan is not legal, and can be a source of physical or mental violence in the street. So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral students, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.










share|improve this question









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  • 63




    Aren’t they leaving to go pray somewhere else to not make you feel uncomfortable?
    – Jon Custer
    yesterday






  • 8




    While I don't know your location, my default answer to this would be "no, you should not do anything that makes you uncomfortable and surely not pretend to be religious in front of your supervisor or anybody else". The nuances on how to deal with this might be easier to suggest if you give us some hint of your location. But, what I'm really interested in is your statement that "Surely if they knew I am not religious it will annoy them" - how do you know that? Have you seen them treat non-religious students unfavourably, is it your funded or unfunded assumption, or something else?
    – penelope
    yesterday






  • 17




    I feel this question requires a much more precise location. Muslim countries vary wildly regarding the tolerance of non religious people. While in some of these countries it would be fine to "come out", in many of these you could be risking your life or your scholarship. So obviously whether or not talking to your supervisor is appropriate depends completely in which case you are. MENA is huge, so it does not really say much about which possibility you are in.
    – Bakuriu
    yesterday






  • 17




    @penelope: No that is bad advice. One must consider the repercussions of publicly denying religion in countries whose population will react badly to it. One might even have to pretend to be religious to preserve one's own life, especially if one intends to eventually leave such a country. It is really a waste to sacrifice unnecessarily.
    – user21820
    21 hours ago






  • 7




    If you don't go pray with them, how did they not figure out yet that you are not religious? Do they think you pray alone at a different time?
    – idkfa
    21 hours ago













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up vote
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down vote

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3





My supervisor and all his other doctoral students are practicing religious, while I am not and am "non-religious".



We never discuss religion together, but sometimes they all leave to pray together, and they leave me alone. which make me uncomfortable.
Surely, if they know I'm "non-religious," it will annoy them.





How do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once and for all?
Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?



EDIT: I am in a predominantly Muslim country, MENA, and not being Muslim is not very welcomed in general. For example, eating during the month of Ramadan is not legal, and can be a source of physical or mental violence in the street. So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral students, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.










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My supervisor and all his other doctoral students are practicing religious, while I am not and am "non-religious".



We never discuss religion together, but sometimes they all leave to pray together, and they leave me alone. which make me uncomfortable.
Surely, if they know I'm "non-religious," it will annoy them.





How do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once and for all?
Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?



EDIT: I am in a predominantly Muslim country, MENA, and not being Muslim is not very welcomed in general. For example, eating during the month of Ramadan is not legal, and can be a source of physical or mental violence in the street. So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral students, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.







supervision religious-issues






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edited 2 hours ago









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  • 63




    Aren’t they leaving to go pray somewhere else to not make you feel uncomfortable?
    – Jon Custer
    yesterday






  • 8




    While I don't know your location, my default answer to this would be "no, you should not do anything that makes you uncomfortable and surely not pretend to be religious in front of your supervisor or anybody else". The nuances on how to deal with this might be easier to suggest if you give us some hint of your location. But, what I'm really interested in is your statement that "Surely if they knew I am not religious it will annoy them" - how do you know that? Have you seen them treat non-religious students unfavourably, is it your funded or unfunded assumption, or something else?
    – penelope
    yesterday






  • 17




    I feel this question requires a much more precise location. Muslim countries vary wildly regarding the tolerance of non religious people. While in some of these countries it would be fine to "come out", in many of these you could be risking your life or your scholarship. So obviously whether or not talking to your supervisor is appropriate depends completely in which case you are. MENA is huge, so it does not really say much about which possibility you are in.
    – Bakuriu
    yesterday






  • 17




    @penelope: No that is bad advice. One must consider the repercussions of publicly denying religion in countries whose population will react badly to it. One might even have to pretend to be religious to preserve one's own life, especially if one intends to eventually leave such a country. It is really a waste to sacrifice unnecessarily.
    – user21820
    21 hours ago






  • 7




    If you don't go pray with them, how did they not figure out yet that you are not religious? Do they think you pray alone at a different time?
    – idkfa
    21 hours ago














  • 63




    Aren’t they leaving to go pray somewhere else to not make you feel uncomfortable?
    – Jon Custer
    yesterday






  • 8




    While I don't know your location, my default answer to this would be "no, you should not do anything that makes you uncomfortable and surely not pretend to be religious in front of your supervisor or anybody else". The nuances on how to deal with this might be easier to suggest if you give us some hint of your location. But, what I'm really interested in is your statement that "Surely if they knew I am not religious it will annoy them" - how do you know that? Have you seen them treat non-religious students unfavourably, is it your funded or unfunded assumption, or something else?
    – penelope
    yesterday






  • 17




    I feel this question requires a much more precise location. Muslim countries vary wildly regarding the tolerance of non religious people. While in some of these countries it would be fine to "come out", in many of these you could be risking your life or your scholarship. So obviously whether or not talking to your supervisor is appropriate depends completely in which case you are. MENA is huge, so it does not really say much about which possibility you are in.
    – Bakuriu
    yesterday






  • 17




    @penelope: No that is bad advice. One must consider the repercussions of publicly denying religion in countries whose population will react badly to it. One might even have to pretend to be religious to preserve one's own life, especially if one intends to eventually leave such a country. It is really a waste to sacrifice unnecessarily.
    – user21820
    21 hours ago






  • 7




    If you don't go pray with them, how did they not figure out yet that you are not religious? Do they think you pray alone at a different time?
    – idkfa
    21 hours ago








63




63




Aren’t they leaving to go pray somewhere else to not make you feel uncomfortable?
– Jon Custer
yesterday




Aren’t they leaving to go pray somewhere else to not make you feel uncomfortable?
– Jon Custer
yesterday




8




8




While I don't know your location, my default answer to this would be "no, you should not do anything that makes you uncomfortable and surely not pretend to be religious in front of your supervisor or anybody else". The nuances on how to deal with this might be easier to suggest if you give us some hint of your location. But, what I'm really interested in is your statement that "Surely if they knew I am not religious it will annoy them" - how do you know that? Have you seen them treat non-religious students unfavourably, is it your funded or unfunded assumption, or something else?
– penelope
yesterday




While I don't know your location, my default answer to this would be "no, you should not do anything that makes you uncomfortable and surely not pretend to be religious in front of your supervisor or anybody else". The nuances on how to deal with this might be easier to suggest if you give us some hint of your location. But, what I'm really interested in is your statement that "Surely if they knew I am not religious it will annoy them" - how do you know that? Have you seen them treat non-religious students unfavourably, is it your funded or unfunded assumption, or something else?
– penelope
yesterday




17




17




I feel this question requires a much more precise location. Muslim countries vary wildly regarding the tolerance of non religious people. While in some of these countries it would be fine to "come out", in many of these you could be risking your life or your scholarship. So obviously whether or not talking to your supervisor is appropriate depends completely in which case you are. MENA is huge, so it does not really say much about which possibility you are in.
– Bakuriu
yesterday




I feel this question requires a much more precise location. Muslim countries vary wildly regarding the tolerance of non religious people. While in some of these countries it would be fine to "come out", in many of these you could be risking your life or your scholarship. So obviously whether or not talking to your supervisor is appropriate depends completely in which case you are. MENA is huge, so it does not really say much about which possibility you are in.
– Bakuriu
yesterday




17




17




@penelope: No that is bad advice. One must consider the repercussions of publicly denying religion in countries whose population will react badly to it. One might even have to pretend to be religious to preserve one's own life, especially if one intends to eventually leave such a country. It is really a waste to sacrifice unnecessarily.
– user21820
21 hours ago




@penelope: No that is bad advice. One must consider the repercussions of publicly denying religion in countries whose population will react badly to it. One might even have to pretend to be religious to preserve one's own life, especially if one intends to eventually leave such a country. It is really a waste to sacrifice unnecessarily.
– user21820
21 hours ago




7




7




If you don't go pray with them, how did they not figure out yet that you are not religious? Do they think you pray alone at a different time?
– idkfa
21 hours ago




If you don't go pray with them, how did they not figure out yet that you are not religious? Do they think you pray alone at a different time?
– idkfa
21 hours ago










7 Answers
7






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up vote
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accepted










There are situations in which you need to be sensitive to others and they should extend the same courtesy to you. However, there are some places in which religious feeling is so strong as to overcome such sentiment. It can be dangerous in many ways (academic, physical,...) to disagree with religious "consensus" in such places. There are some colleges in the US, in fact, in which this is a problem.



However, to "fake" being a member of a religion is equally dangerous, so you need to be careful. I don't know what people's assumptions about you are. But if they are aware that you aren't a member/adherent of the dominant faith you are probably best advised not to participate. If they are not aware and are making assumptions that you are just an apostate then it can be very dangerous.



If your professor has an open enough attitude you can speak with him/her for advice. But the first rule is to be safe. If you are in a place in which you are required to be a "believer" and you are not, you should work to find a more compatible place. Religious sentiment is often other-than-rational.






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  • 13




    "You should work to find a more compatible place" This is the best solution..Thank you
    – Motaka
    yesterday






  • 2




    Faking being part of a religion is almost certainly worse than just not being religious -- not only are you not actually religious, but when you're inevitably discovered, you'll have been lying to everyone around you for however long you fake it.
    – Nic Hartley
    12 hours ago






  • 1




    @NicHartley. It can be extremely dangerous. People die every day because of religious intolerance.
    – Buffy
    12 hours ago










  • @Buffy And if they're willing to kill you because you're not religious, how angry do you think they'll be when they find out that you're not religious and you've been lying to them the entire time?
    – Nic Hartley
    12 hours ago










  • @NicHartley That depends on a lot of factors. For example, how well you can fake it, and how much people care as long as you are performing the motions. It's hard to prove someone does not believe if they tell you that they do. It may mean you have to restrict yourself in ways that the religion calls for., You may not believe; but as long as you follow the general rules of the religion, it can be far safer to just go along with everyone and keep your (potentially dangerous) thoughts to yourself. Odds are you wouldn't be the only one. If you were formerly devout for example, it's possible.
    – JMac
    12 hours ago




















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48
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I grew up in a Muslim-majority country. Do's and don'ts:





  • Do show respect for the religion. That means avoid doing things like comment on how inconvenient it must be to pray five times a day, don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan, etc.


  • Do do as they do, if possible and not inconvenient. For example if you take lunch together, order/pack something halal. Unless you have special dietary requirements that require you to eat pork, don't eat pork when with others.


  • Do dress conservatively. If your institution has a dress code, follow that. If you're female, you can usually refuse to wear the hijab if it makes you uncomfortable (depends on country however), but still dress conservatively - e.g. don't wear something sleeveless.


  • Don't pretend to be Muslim. You can't fake it. Learning how to pray in the religion takes time; the chant is nontrivial as well.


  • Don't pretend to be Muslim #2: just as important, once you identify as Muslim you could be bound to obey a different set of laws. Sharia criminalizes things which are fine in contemporary Western culture, such as homosexuality. If you're homosexual but identify as Muslim, you could bring the religious police on your head.


  • Don't pretend to be Muslim #3: Further, depending on which country you're in, you could find it really hard to leave the religion. Potential problems you could face go up to death. In the meantime it's not just you that's affected: in many countries, there are restrictions on Muslim persons marrying a non-Muslim; plus any child born to a Muslim is automatically a Muslim.


Exception: if you were originally a Muslim but no longer believe in the religion, you don't have good options. The above advice will still bring the religious police onto you (because you're now an apostate). I would either pretend to be Muslim or leave the country and work elsewhere.



tl; dr: Leave religious people to practice their religion and don't criticize them for it. They should do the same to you.






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  • 10




    This answer is not correct when the person was originally a Muslim, for the very reason you gave in your last point. In that case it is better to pretend to still be a Muslim until one is ready to take on the consequences of not pretending.
    – user21820
    21 hours ago










  • As to point #2, there are shari'a laws that must be obeyed by all -- even if you're a homosexual pantheist. This conservative dressing thing is a case in point. As to #3, that refers mainly to Muslim women who cannot marry non-Muslims (Muslim men can marry Jews and Christians).
    – Joseph
    14 hours ago






  • 3




    This is a good answer except for the voicing of "they", or othering. You could, for example, phrase things "Do show respect for the religion.", "don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan", and simply "the chant is nontrivial as well". I'll rib you for your tl;dr as well, because I don't see how Muslims should "don't flaunt the fact they're not Muslim" :-D
    – Rich
    9 hours ago










  • Great comments, edited.
    – Allure
    8 hours ago






  • 1




    @Joshua you sure? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wong_Ah_Kiu this implies that the Malaysian authorities considered her to be Muslim simply because she was born to Muslim parents.
    – Allure
    7 hours ago


















up vote
15
down vote













I also spent a few years in a MENA country in an academic environment. As you say, eating food/drinking water in public during Ramadan was illegal, as were certain standards of dress, however my experience over the years was that this did not in any way mean that the individuals I lived and worked with (including those who were practicing Muslims) were by default unaccepting of my non-religiousness. I am curious why you say




Surely, if they know I'm "non religious" it will annoy them.




and




So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral student, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.




Perhaps you have more reason for believing these than you have included in your question, however, in my personal experience, none of my Muslim friends/co-workers ever expected me to conform to their religion. I certainly never pretended to be Muslim, and like other answers, suggest that you do not do this as this is likely to make the situation more awkward ('I converted to fit in' is probably not the best answer to give to an observant member of any religion).



My advice is that perhaps this does not need to a bigger issue than any other lifestyle difference that you might have with your co-workers, and not to read too deeply into it (as in assuming they have some kind of expectation of you), unless they give you reason for it. Government polices do not necessarily reflect individual expectations. By all means, if you feel unhealthy pressure or feel unsafe, don't stay. Otherwise, similar situations where there is a difference in lifestyle/culture between members of the group occur all the time.



Perhaps another group you join might go out regularly for coffee/alcohol when you are unable to join for dietary/religious reasons, or in another group everyone else has kids, so leaves early, or do play-dates on the weekend. But in such situations, the activity you have to miss out on is surely not the only way to build rapport/respect within your group and strengthen your relationship with your supervisor. So if there is no actual pressure for you to have the same religious beliefs, try to decide if you're bothered by their religious belief. If not, then focus your energy on finding some other topic/hobby that you have in common. If both you and they are respectful of differences, there may be no debate to 'open'.






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  • 1




    I totally agree with you, if you are a foreigner and you work with them, even if you are not religious it will not create any problem, it will be okay.. Here for example the tourists can eat during Ramadan, and the restorants are open for them .. but not to the citizen of the country
    – Motaka
    21 hours ago


















up vote
8
down vote













~Note: I am an American, and while I studied at a largely international college with large populations of all major religions, my answer may not accurately reflect cultural expectations in other countries.~



First of all, I do not think that you should pretend to be religious if you are not. It sounds like it would be quite uncomfortable for you, and could lead to many negative feelings if they found out that you had been lying.



Instead, it sounds like you should have a conversation with your professor. It is not reasonable to ask him or other students to refrain from praying. However, it seems like your biggest concern is that it feels awkward and you do not want them to judge you for being non-religious. The easiest way to deal with this is to tell your professor about your concerns and ask honestly if he is bothered by it.



Tell him that you have noticed that he and the other students go pray together and that you have felt uncomfortable by being the only one who does not because you worry that he could be annoyed or feel disrespected by your lack of participation. He will likely say that it does not bother him that you are not religious, although he may be curious as to why you are not if that is the norm.



At the end of the day, if he is uncomfortable having a non-religious student, he may not be a good fit for you. Knowing that will allow you to decide what to do next. It may be possible to change advisors or it may not, but you won't lose anything by having a polite and honest conversation.






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  • 1




    Thank you for your answer, as you said, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with others, but I think It's not to me to open a this discussion, but if they want to discuss someday I will be honest.
    – Motaka
    yesterday


















up vote
7
down vote













I am in the U.S., obviously a very different culture.



The way I think things OUGHT to work is this: If these people you work with have different religious beliefs than you and so periodically go off and pray or do whatever related to their religion, they should not pressure you to participate or penalize you in any way for not participating, and likewise you should not pressure them to not do this. They have the right to practice their religion, and you have the right to practice yours or not practice any.



I don't see why this should be any different than any other difference of interests. Suppose I worked with a group of people who, say, all loved to eat Italian food, and I don't like Italian food, and periodically they all go to lunch together at an Italian restaurant. It would be rude for them to pressure me to eat Italian food just because they like it. But it would be even more rude for me to say they shouldn't eat Italian food because I don't like it, or to complain that I am left out because I don't share their taste in food.



I think you should just accept that you don't share this particular interest with your co-workers and that this inevitably means that you will not share certain activities with them. I'd say, so what?






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  • 6




    Although I agree with the sentiment expressed in this answer, I don't think it's very helpful to the OP to express the wish that everybody in the world should just get along with everybody regardless of personal beliefs, which is essentially what you're saying, but not the reality everywhere. In particular, the impact of religion on life is vastly greater than the impact of food preferences.
    – gerrit
    18 hours ago










  • I'm sorry if I was unclear. My relevant point is not that EVERYONE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. I'd say that's true but as you say, the OP can't make that happen. What I'm trying to say is that HE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. If others want to practice a religion that he does not share, he can politely not participate. There is no reason for him to complain or turn it into a battle. Just politely say "have a good time" or whatever is appropriate when they leave.
    – Jay
    8 hours ago


















up vote
4
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It depends on which country you are talking about in the middle east. I'm from Iran and I would say not participating in religious practices is really common among young people and if somebody attends those religious practices will be mocked heavily. For the rest of my answer, I assume you are living somewhere maybe in the Arabic countries of the middle east. Also, my answer is not really depends on your relationship with the ones that have strict religious beliefs (it means you can replace your supervisor or his students with anybody else like your friends, family, etc.). Also, I assume you are a Muslim by born (it means you are Muslim cause your mother and father are Muslims) and then you changed your mind based on your personal thoughts.



You mentioned that all of them will pray at the pray time but you don't join them, and some people here suggested that it may implicitly implies that you are not a believer and if they didn't tell you something until now, it's quite OK in their opinion. Unfortunately: It's not true!. It means at the best they just think you may have a good religious reason (e.g. had sex last night and didn't wash your body) and because of that good religious reason you can't join them. Or, for whatever reason you prefer to pray privately.



The main key point is: Did ever your supervisor or his students tell you why you don't participate in their religious practices?



It is a really serious problem if you are Muslim by born and when you grew up you changed your mind to not to be a religious person. In fact, in Islam beliefs, it's not like you can change your mind after sometime and they welcome you and wish you good luck with your personal thoughts and ideas! It could cost you your life (seriously!). But as far as I know, their rule is that if somebody don't believe in Islam or for whatever reason changed his/her mind to not follow Islam's rules, you would be safe as long as you don't express your ideas in any way to the public and your society. This means if your supervisor or his students asked you about why you don't participate in their religious practices? You need to have a really unimportant or common reason for it and not saying I don't believe in your beliefs! I mean you should say I'm a practitioner certainly but for some reason like being sick at the moment, I could not attend those practices with you. Otherwise, if you want to express your true beliefs that you don't believe in Islam, it will lead to a lengthy discussion with them about why you don't do it and they will try to convince you and if you don't accept their ideas it makes the problem bigger and bigger. So, for every time just bring a fake reason and move on, or better idea is: to not to be there when they are practicing their religion. Also, Buffy suggested you to change your location. Honestly, it is not really easy to relocate to somewhere else when you are from middle east and it may be your long-term goal rather than a short-time answer to your question and your situation that you are trying to deal with it.






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    up vote
    1
    down vote














    how do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
    Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once
    and for all? Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?




    It is up to you. If you feel encouraged to accompany them, then you can tell them to inform you, and tell them that you want to accompany them. Otherwise you should not go even if they invite you, you should tell them not to invite you as you do not prefer to.



    Religion is something personal. Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray.



    In my opinion you should not open debate about this unless if you are interested about knowing more about what they are doing.



    Your supervisor has certain rules and regulations to evaluate you. None of them can be praying. Even in the most religious countries. So you should not worry.



    An no, you should not pretend to be like them and pray like them. If you do this, you are wasting your time. Your prayers should have meaning to you, and should make you feel better. If this is not the case with you, no one, including God, need it from you.






    share|improve this answer

















    • 1




      "Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray." Are you sure?!
      – Alone Programmer
      11 hours ago










    protected by StrongBad 10 hours ago



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    7 Answers
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    7 Answers
    7






    active

    oldest

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    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes








    up vote
    36
    down vote



    accepted










    There are situations in which you need to be sensitive to others and they should extend the same courtesy to you. However, there are some places in which religious feeling is so strong as to overcome such sentiment. It can be dangerous in many ways (academic, physical,...) to disagree with religious "consensus" in such places. There are some colleges in the US, in fact, in which this is a problem.



    However, to "fake" being a member of a religion is equally dangerous, so you need to be careful. I don't know what people's assumptions about you are. But if they are aware that you aren't a member/adherent of the dominant faith you are probably best advised not to participate. If they are not aware and are making assumptions that you are just an apostate then it can be very dangerous.



    If your professor has an open enough attitude you can speak with him/her for advice. But the first rule is to be safe. If you are in a place in which you are required to be a "believer" and you are not, you should work to find a more compatible place. Religious sentiment is often other-than-rational.






    share|improve this answer

















    • 13




      "You should work to find a more compatible place" This is the best solution..Thank you
      – Motaka
      yesterday






    • 2




      Faking being part of a religion is almost certainly worse than just not being religious -- not only are you not actually religious, but when you're inevitably discovered, you'll have been lying to everyone around you for however long you fake it.
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago






    • 1




      @NicHartley. It can be extremely dangerous. People die every day because of religious intolerance.
      – Buffy
      12 hours ago










    • @Buffy And if they're willing to kill you because you're not religious, how angry do you think they'll be when they find out that you're not religious and you've been lying to them the entire time?
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago










    • @NicHartley That depends on a lot of factors. For example, how well you can fake it, and how much people care as long as you are performing the motions. It's hard to prove someone does not believe if they tell you that they do. It may mean you have to restrict yourself in ways that the religion calls for., You may not believe; but as long as you follow the general rules of the religion, it can be far safer to just go along with everyone and keep your (potentially dangerous) thoughts to yourself. Odds are you wouldn't be the only one. If you were formerly devout for example, it's possible.
      – JMac
      12 hours ago

















    up vote
    36
    down vote



    accepted










    There are situations in which you need to be sensitive to others and they should extend the same courtesy to you. However, there are some places in which religious feeling is so strong as to overcome such sentiment. It can be dangerous in many ways (academic, physical,...) to disagree with religious "consensus" in such places. There are some colleges in the US, in fact, in which this is a problem.



    However, to "fake" being a member of a religion is equally dangerous, so you need to be careful. I don't know what people's assumptions about you are. But if they are aware that you aren't a member/adherent of the dominant faith you are probably best advised not to participate. If they are not aware and are making assumptions that you are just an apostate then it can be very dangerous.



    If your professor has an open enough attitude you can speak with him/her for advice. But the first rule is to be safe. If you are in a place in which you are required to be a "believer" and you are not, you should work to find a more compatible place. Religious sentiment is often other-than-rational.






    share|improve this answer

















    • 13




      "You should work to find a more compatible place" This is the best solution..Thank you
      – Motaka
      yesterday






    • 2




      Faking being part of a religion is almost certainly worse than just not being religious -- not only are you not actually religious, but when you're inevitably discovered, you'll have been lying to everyone around you for however long you fake it.
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago






    • 1




      @NicHartley. It can be extremely dangerous. People die every day because of religious intolerance.
      – Buffy
      12 hours ago










    • @Buffy And if they're willing to kill you because you're not religious, how angry do you think they'll be when they find out that you're not religious and you've been lying to them the entire time?
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago










    • @NicHartley That depends on a lot of factors. For example, how well you can fake it, and how much people care as long as you are performing the motions. It's hard to prove someone does not believe if they tell you that they do. It may mean you have to restrict yourself in ways that the religion calls for., You may not believe; but as long as you follow the general rules of the religion, it can be far safer to just go along with everyone and keep your (potentially dangerous) thoughts to yourself. Odds are you wouldn't be the only one. If you were formerly devout for example, it's possible.
      – JMac
      12 hours ago















    up vote
    36
    down vote



    accepted







    up vote
    36
    down vote



    accepted






    There are situations in which you need to be sensitive to others and they should extend the same courtesy to you. However, there are some places in which religious feeling is so strong as to overcome such sentiment. It can be dangerous in many ways (academic, physical,...) to disagree with religious "consensus" in such places. There are some colleges in the US, in fact, in which this is a problem.



    However, to "fake" being a member of a religion is equally dangerous, so you need to be careful. I don't know what people's assumptions about you are. But if they are aware that you aren't a member/adherent of the dominant faith you are probably best advised not to participate. If they are not aware and are making assumptions that you are just an apostate then it can be very dangerous.



    If your professor has an open enough attitude you can speak with him/her for advice. But the first rule is to be safe. If you are in a place in which you are required to be a "believer" and you are not, you should work to find a more compatible place. Religious sentiment is often other-than-rational.






    share|improve this answer












    There are situations in which you need to be sensitive to others and they should extend the same courtesy to you. However, there are some places in which religious feeling is so strong as to overcome such sentiment. It can be dangerous in many ways (academic, physical,...) to disagree with religious "consensus" in such places. There are some colleges in the US, in fact, in which this is a problem.



    However, to "fake" being a member of a religion is equally dangerous, so you need to be careful. I don't know what people's assumptions about you are. But if they are aware that you aren't a member/adherent of the dominant faith you are probably best advised not to participate. If they are not aware and are making assumptions that you are just an apostate then it can be very dangerous.



    If your professor has an open enough attitude you can speak with him/her for advice. But the first rule is to be safe. If you are in a place in which you are required to be a "believer" and you are not, you should work to find a more compatible place. Religious sentiment is often other-than-rational.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered yesterday









    Buffy

    33.6k7104174




    33.6k7104174








    • 13




      "You should work to find a more compatible place" This is the best solution..Thank you
      – Motaka
      yesterday






    • 2




      Faking being part of a religion is almost certainly worse than just not being religious -- not only are you not actually religious, but when you're inevitably discovered, you'll have been lying to everyone around you for however long you fake it.
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago






    • 1




      @NicHartley. It can be extremely dangerous. People die every day because of religious intolerance.
      – Buffy
      12 hours ago










    • @Buffy And if they're willing to kill you because you're not religious, how angry do you think they'll be when they find out that you're not religious and you've been lying to them the entire time?
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago










    • @NicHartley That depends on a lot of factors. For example, how well you can fake it, and how much people care as long as you are performing the motions. It's hard to prove someone does not believe if they tell you that they do. It may mean you have to restrict yourself in ways that the religion calls for., You may not believe; but as long as you follow the general rules of the religion, it can be far safer to just go along with everyone and keep your (potentially dangerous) thoughts to yourself. Odds are you wouldn't be the only one. If you were formerly devout for example, it's possible.
      – JMac
      12 hours ago
















    • 13




      "You should work to find a more compatible place" This is the best solution..Thank you
      – Motaka
      yesterday






    • 2




      Faking being part of a religion is almost certainly worse than just not being religious -- not only are you not actually religious, but when you're inevitably discovered, you'll have been lying to everyone around you for however long you fake it.
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago






    • 1




      @NicHartley. It can be extremely dangerous. People die every day because of religious intolerance.
      – Buffy
      12 hours ago










    • @Buffy And if they're willing to kill you because you're not religious, how angry do you think they'll be when they find out that you're not religious and you've been lying to them the entire time?
      – Nic Hartley
      12 hours ago










    • @NicHartley That depends on a lot of factors. For example, how well you can fake it, and how much people care as long as you are performing the motions. It's hard to prove someone does not believe if they tell you that they do. It may mean you have to restrict yourself in ways that the religion calls for., You may not believe; but as long as you follow the general rules of the religion, it can be far safer to just go along with everyone and keep your (potentially dangerous) thoughts to yourself. Odds are you wouldn't be the only one. If you were formerly devout for example, it's possible.
      – JMac
      12 hours ago










    13




    13




    "You should work to find a more compatible place" This is the best solution..Thank you
    – Motaka
    yesterday




    "You should work to find a more compatible place" This is the best solution..Thank you
    – Motaka
    yesterday




    2




    2




    Faking being part of a religion is almost certainly worse than just not being religious -- not only are you not actually religious, but when you're inevitably discovered, you'll have been lying to everyone around you for however long you fake it.
    – Nic Hartley
    12 hours ago




    Faking being part of a religion is almost certainly worse than just not being religious -- not only are you not actually religious, but when you're inevitably discovered, you'll have been lying to everyone around you for however long you fake it.
    – Nic Hartley
    12 hours ago




    1




    1




    @NicHartley. It can be extremely dangerous. People die every day because of religious intolerance.
    – Buffy
    12 hours ago




    @NicHartley. It can be extremely dangerous. People die every day because of religious intolerance.
    – Buffy
    12 hours ago












    @Buffy And if they're willing to kill you because you're not religious, how angry do you think they'll be when they find out that you're not religious and you've been lying to them the entire time?
    – Nic Hartley
    12 hours ago




    @Buffy And if they're willing to kill you because you're not religious, how angry do you think they'll be when they find out that you're not religious and you've been lying to them the entire time?
    – Nic Hartley
    12 hours ago












    @NicHartley That depends on a lot of factors. For example, how well you can fake it, and how much people care as long as you are performing the motions. It's hard to prove someone does not believe if they tell you that they do. It may mean you have to restrict yourself in ways that the religion calls for., You may not believe; but as long as you follow the general rules of the religion, it can be far safer to just go along with everyone and keep your (potentially dangerous) thoughts to yourself. Odds are you wouldn't be the only one. If you were formerly devout for example, it's possible.
    – JMac
    12 hours ago






    @NicHartley That depends on a lot of factors. For example, how well you can fake it, and how much people care as long as you are performing the motions. It's hard to prove someone does not believe if they tell you that they do. It may mean you have to restrict yourself in ways that the religion calls for., You may not believe; but as long as you follow the general rules of the religion, it can be far safer to just go along with everyone and keep your (potentially dangerous) thoughts to yourself. Odds are you wouldn't be the only one. If you were formerly devout for example, it's possible.
    – JMac
    12 hours ago












    up vote
    48
    down vote













    I grew up in a Muslim-majority country. Do's and don'ts:





    • Do show respect for the religion. That means avoid doing things like comment on how inconvenient it must be to pray five times a day, don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan, etc.


    • Do do as they do, if possible and not inconvenient. For example if you take lunch together, order/pack something halal. Unless you have special dietary requirements that require you to eat pork, don't eat pork when with others.


    • Do dress conservatively. If your institution has a dress code, follow that. If you're female, you can usually refuse to wear the hijab if it makes you uncomfortable (depends on country however), but still dress conservatively - e.g. don't wear something sleeveless.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim. You can't fake it. Learning how to pray in the religion takes time; the chant is nontrivial as well.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #2: just as important, once you identify as Muslim you could be bound to obey a different set of laws. Sharia criminalizes things which are fine in contemporary Western culture, such as homosexuality. If you're homosexual but identify as Muslim, you could bring the religious police on your head.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #3: Further, depending on which country you're in, you could find it really hard to leave the religion. Potential problems you could face go up to death. In the meantime it's not just you that's affected: in many countries, there are restrictions on Muslim persons marrying a non-Muslim; plus any child born to a Muslim is automatically a Muslim.


    Exception: if you were originally a Muslim but no longer believe in the religion, you don't have good options. The above advice will still bring the religious police onto you (because you're now an apostate). I would either pretend to be Muslim or leave the country and work elsewhere.



    tl; dr: Leave religious people to practice their religion and don't criticize them for it. They should do the same to you.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 10




      This answer is not correct when the person was originally a Muslim, for the very reason you gave in your last point. In that case it is better to pretend to still be a Muslim until one is ready to take on the consequences of not pretending.
      – user21820
      21 hours ago










    • As to point #2, there are shari'a laws that must be obeyed by all -- even if you're a homosexual pantheist. This conservative dressing thing is a case in point. As to #3, that refers mainly to Muslim women who cannot marry non-Muslims (Muslim men can marry Jews and Christians).
      – Joseph
      14 hours ago






    • 3




      This is a good answer except for the voicing of "they", or othering. You could, for example, phrase things "Do show respect for the religion.", "don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan", and simply "the chant is nontrivial as well". I'll rib you for your tl;dr as well, because I don't see how Muslims should "don't flaunt the fact they're not Muslim" :-D
      – Rich
      9 hours ago










    • Great comments, edited.
      – Allure
      8 hours ago






    • 1




      @Joshua you sure? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wong_Ah_Kiu this implies that the Malaysian authorities considered her to be Muslim simply because she was born to Muslim parents.
      – Allure
      7 hours ago















    up vote
    48
    down vote













    I grew up in a Muslim-majority country. Do's and don'ts:





    • Do show respect for the religion. That means avoid doing things like comment on how inconvenient it must be to pray five times a day, don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan, etc.


    • Do do as they do, if possible and not inconvenient. For example if you take lunch together, order/pack something halal. Unless you have special dietary requirements that require you to eat pork, don't eat pork when with others.


    • Do dress conservatively. If your institution has a dress code, follow that. If you're female, you can usually refuse to wear the hijab if it makes you uncomfortable (depends on country however), but still dress conservatively - e.g. don't wear something sleeveless.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim. You can't fake it. Learning how to pray in the religion takes time; the chant is nontrivial as well.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #2: just as important, once you identify as Muslim you could be bound to obey a different set of laws. Sharia criminalizes things which are fine in contemporary Western culture, such as homosexuality. If you're homosexual but identify as Muslim, you could bring the religious police on your head.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #3: Further, depending on which country you're in, you could find it really hard to leave the religion. Potential problems you could face go up to death. In the meantime it's not just you that's affected: in many countries, there are restrictions on Muslim persons marrying a non-Muslim; plus any child born to a Muslim is automatically a Muslim.


    Exception: if you were originally a Muslim but no longer believe in the religion, you don't have good options. The above advice will still bring the religious police onto you (because you're now an apostate). I would either pretend to be Muslim or leave the country and work elsewhere.



    tl; dr: Leave religious people to practice their religion and don't criticize them for it. They should do the same to you.






    share|improve this answer



















    • 10




      This answer is not correct when the person was originally a Muslim, for the very reason you gave in your last point. In that case it is better to pretend to still be a Muslim until one is ready to take on the consequences of not pretending.
      – user21820
      21 hours ago










    • As to point #2, there are shari'a laws that must be obeyed by all -- even if you're a homosexual pantheist. This conservative dressing thing is a case in point. As to #3, that refers mainly to Muslim women who cannot marry non-Muslims (Muslim men can marry Jews and Christians).
      – Joseph
      14 hours ago






    • 3




      This is a good answer except for the voicing of "they", or othering. You could, for example, phrase things "Do show respect for the religion.", "don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan", and simply "the chant is nontrivial as well". I'll rib you for your tl;dr as well, because I don't see how Muslims should "don't flaunt the fact they're not Muslim" :-D
      – Rich
      9 hours ago










    • Great comments, edited.
      – Allure
      8 hours ago






    • 1




      @Joshua you sure? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wong_Ah_Kiu this implies that the Malaysian authorities considered her to be Muslim simply because she was born to Muslim parents.
      – Allure
      7 hours ago













    up vote
    48
    down vote










    up vote
    48
    down vote









    I grew up in a Muslim-majority country. Do's and don'ts:





    • Do show respect for the religion. That means avoid doing things like comment on how inconvenient it must be to pray five times a day, don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan, etc.


    • Do do as they do, if possible and not inconvenient. For example if you take lunch together, order/pack something halal. Unless you have special dietary requirements that require you to eat pork, don't eat pork when with others.


    • Do dress conservatively. If your institution has a dress code, follow that. If you're female, you can usually refuse to wear the hijab if it makes you uncomfortable (depends on country however), but still dress conservatively - e.g. don't wear something sleeveless.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim. You can't fake it. Learning how to pray in the religion takes time; the chant is nontrivial as well.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #2: just as important, once you identify as Muslim you could be bound to obey a different set of laws. Sharia criminalizes things which are fine in contemporary Western culture, such as homosexuality. If you're homosexual but identify as Muslim, you could bring the religious police on your head.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #3: Further, depending on which country you're in, you could find it really hard to leave the religion. Potential problems you could face go up to death. In the meantime it's not just you that's affected: in many countries, there are restrictions on Muslim persons marrying a non-Muslim; plus any child born to a Muslim is automatically a Muslim.


    Exception: if you were originally a Muslim but no longer believe in the religion, you don't have good options. The above advice will still bring the religious police onto you (because you're now an apostate). I would either pretend to be Muslim or leave the country and work elsewhere.



    tl; dr: Leave religious people to practice their religion and don't criticize them for it. They should do the same to you.






    share|improve this answer














    I grew up in a Muslim-majority country. Do's and don'ts:





    • Do show respect for the religion. That means avoid doing things like comment on how inconvenient it must be to pray five times a day, don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan, etc.


    • Do do as they do, if possible and not inconvenient. For example if you take lunch together, order/pack something halal. Unless you have special dietary requirements that require you to eat pork, don't eat pork when with others.


    • Do dress conservatively. If your institution has a dress code, follow that. If you're female, you can usually refuse to wear the hijab if it makes you uncomfortable (depends on country however), but still dress conservatively - e.g. don't wear something sleeveless.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim. You can't fake it. Learning how to pray in the religion takes time; the chant is nontrivial as well.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #2: just as important, once you identify as Muslim you could be bound to obey a different set of laws. Sharia criminalizes things which are fine in contemporary Western culture, such as homosexuality. If you're homosexual but identify as Muslim, you could bring the religious police on your head.


    • Don't pretend to be Muslim #3: Further, depending on which country you're in, you could find it really hard to leave the religion. Potential problems you could face go up to death. In the meantime it's not just you that's affected: in many countries, there are restrictions on Muslim persons marrying a non-Muslim; plus any child born to a Muslim is automatically a Muslim.


    Exception: if you were originally a Muslim but no longer believe in the religion, you don't have good options. The above advice will still bring the religious police onto you (because you're now an apostate). I would either pretend to be Muslim or leave the country and work elsewhere.



    tl; dr: Leave religious people to practice their religion and don't criticize them for it. They should do the same to you.







    share|improve this answer














    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited 8 hours ago

























    answered yesterday









    Allure

    25.2k1376125




    25.2k1376125








    • 10




      This answer is not correct when the person was originally a Muslim, for the very reason you gave in your last point. In that case it is better to pretend to still be a Muslim until one is ready to take on the consequences of not pretending.
      – user21820
      21 hours ago










    • As to point #2, there are shari'a laws that must be obeyed by all -- even if you're a homosexual pantheist. This conservative dressing thing is a case in point. As to #3, that refers mainly to Muslim women who cannot marry non-Muslims (Muslim men can marry Jews and Christians).
      – Joseph
      14 hours ago






    • 3




      This is a good answer except for the voicing of "they", or othering. You could, for example, phrase things "Do show respect for the religion.", "don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan", and simply "the chant is nontrivial as well". I'll rib you for your tl;dr as well, because I don't see how Muslims should "don't flaunt the fact they're not Muslim" :-D
      – Rich
      9 hours ago










    • Great comments, edited.
      – Allure
      8 hours ago






    • 1




      @Joshua you sure? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wong_Ah_Kiu this implies that the Malaysian authorities considered her to be Muslim simply because she was born to Muslim parents.
      – Allure
      7 hours ago














    • 10




      This answer is not correct when the person was originally a Muslim, for the very reason you gave in your last point. In that case it is better to pretend to still be a Muslim until one is ready to take on the consequences of not pretending.
      – user21820
      21 hours ago










    • As to point #2, there are shari'a laws that must be obeyed by all -- even if you're a homosexual pantheist. This conservative dressing thing is a case in point. As to #3, that refers mainly to Muslim women who cannot marry non-Muslims (Muslim men can marry Jews and Christians).
      – Joseph
      14 hours ago






    • 3




      This is a good answer except for the voicing of "they", or othering. You could, for example, phrase things "Do show respect for the religion.", "don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan", and simply "the chant is nontrivial as well". I'll rib you for your tl;dr as well, because I don't see how Muslims should "don't flaunt the fact they're not Muslim" :-D
      – Rich
      9 hours ago










    • Great comments, edited.
      – Allure
      8 hours ago






    • 1




      @Joshua you sure? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wong_Ah_Kiu this implies that the Malaysian authorities considered her to be Muslim simply because she was born to Muslim parents.
      – Allure
      7 hours ago








    10




    10




    This answer is not correct when the person was originally a Muslim, for the very reason you gave in your last point. In that case it is better to pretend to still be a Muslim until one is ready to take on the consequences of not pretending.
    – user21820
    21 hours ago




    This answer is not correct when the person was originally a Muslim, for the very reason you gave in your last point. In that case it is better to pretend to still be a Muslim until one is ready to take on the consequences of not pretending.
    – user21820
    21 hours ago












    As to point #2, there are shari'a laws that must be obeyed by all -- even if you're a homosexual pantheist. This conservative dressing thing is a case in point. As to #3, that refers mainly to Muslim women who cannot marry non-Muslims (Muslim men can marry Jews and Christians).
    – Joseph
    14 hours ago




    As to point #2, there are shari'a laws that must be obeyed by all -- even if you're a homosexual pantheist. This conservative dressing thing is a case in point. As to #3, that refers mainly to Muslim women who cannot marry non-Muslims (Muslim men can marry Jews and Christians).
    – Joseph
    14 hours ago




    3




    3




    This is a good answer except for the voicing of "they", or othering. You could, for example, phrase things "Do show respect for the religion.", "don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan", and simply "the chant is nontrivial as well". I'll rib you for your tl;dr as well, because I don't see how Muslims should "don't flaunt the fact they're not Muslim" :-D
    – Rich
    9 hours ago




    This is a good answer except for the voicing of "they", or othering. You could, for example, phrase things "Do show respect for the religion.", "don't offer non-halal food, don't invite people to lunch during Ramadan", and simply "the chant is nontrivial as well". I'll rib you for your tl;dr as well, because I don't see how Muslims should "don't flaunt the fact they're not Muslim" :-D
    – Rich
    9 hours ago












    Great comments, edited.
    – Allure
    8 hours ago




    Great comments, edited.
    – Allure
    8 hours ago




    1




    1




    @Joshua you sure? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wong_Ah_Kiu this implies that the Malaysian authorities considered her to be Muslim simply because she was born to Muslim parents.
    – Allure
    7 hours ago




    @Joshua you sure? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wong_Ah_Kiu this implies that the Malaysian authorities considered her to be Muslim simply because she was born to Muslim parents.
    – Allure
    7 hours ago










    up vote
    15
    down vote













    I also spent a few years in a MENA country in an academic environment. As you say, eating food/drinking water in public during Ramadan was illegal, as were certain standards of dress, however my experience over the years was that this did not in any way mean that the individuals I lived and worked with (including those who were practicing Muslims) were by default unaccepting of my non-religiousness. I am curious why you say




    Surely, if they know I'm "non religious" it will annoy them.




    and




    So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral student, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.




    Perhaps you have more reason for believing these than you have included in your question, however, in my personal experience, none of my Muslim friends/co-workers ever expected me to conform to their religion. I certainly never pretended to be Muslim, and like other answers, suggest that you do not do this as this is likely to make the situation more awkward ('I converted to fit in' is probably not the best answer to give to an observant member of any religion).



    My advice is that perhaps this does not need to a bigger issue than any other lifestyle difference that you might have with your co-workers, and not to read too deeply into it (as in assuming they have some kind of expectation of you), unless they give you reason for it. Government polices do not necessarily reflect individual expectations. By all means, if you feel unhealthy pressure or feel unsafe, don't stay. Otherwise, similar situations where there is a difference in lifestyle/culture between members of the group occur all the time.



    Perhaps another group you join might go out regularly for coffee/alcohol when you are unable to join for dietary/religious reasons, or in another group everyone else has kids, so leaves early, or do play-dates on the weekend. But in such situations, the activity you have to miss out on is surely not the only way to build rapport/respect within your group and strengthen your relationship with your supervisor. So if there is no actual pressure for you to have the same religious beliefs, try to decide if you're bothered by their religious belief. If not, then focus your energy on finding some other topic/hobby that you have in common. If both you and they are respectful of differences, there may be no debate to 'open'.






    share|improve this answer










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    • 1




      I totally agree with you, if you are a foreigner and you work with them, even if you are not religious it will not create any problem, it will be okay.. Here for example the tourists can eat during Ramadan, and the restorants are open for them .. but not to the citizen of the country
      – Motaka
      21 hours ago















    up vote
    15
    down vote













    I also spent a few years in a MENA country in an academic environment. As you say, eating food/drinking water in public during Ramadan was illegal, as were certain standards of dress, however my experience over the years was that this did not in any way mean that the individuals I lived and worked with (including those who were practicing Muslims) were by default unaccepting of my non-religiousness. I am curious why you say




    Surely, if they know I'm "non religious" it will annoy them.




    and




    So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral student, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.




    Perhaps you have more reason for believing these than you have included in your question, however, in my personal experience, none of my Muslim friends/co-workers ever expected me to conform to their religion. I certainly never pretended to be Muslim, and like other answers, suggest that you do not do this as this is likely to make the situation more awkward ('I converted to fit in' is probably not the best answer to give to an observant member of any religion).



    My advice is that perhaps this does not need to a bigger issue than any other lifestyle difference that you might have with your co-workers, and not to read too deeply into it (as in assuming they have some kind of expectation of you), unless they give you reason for it. Government polices do not necessarily reflect individual expectations. By all means, if you feel unhealthy pressure or feel unsafe, don't stay. Otherwise, similar situations where there is a difference in lifestyle/culture between members of the group occur all the time.



    Perhaps another group you join might go out regularly for coffee/alcohol when you are unable to join for dietary/religious reasons, or in another group everyone else has kids, so leaves early, or do play-dates on the weekend. But in such situations, the activity you have to miss out on is surely not the only way to build rapport/respect within your group and strengthen your relationship with your supervisor. So if there is no actual pressure for you to have the same religious beliefs, try to decide if you're bothered by their religious belief. If not, then focus your energy on finding some other topic/hobby that you have in common. If both you and they are respectful of differences, there may be no debate to 'open'.






    share|improve this answer










    New contributor




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    • 1




      I totally agree with you, if you are a foreigner and you work with them, even if you are not religious it will not create any problem, it will be okay.. Here for example the tourists can eat during Ramadan, and the restorants are open for them .. but not to the citizen of the country
      – Motaka
      21 hours ago













    up vote
    15
    down vote










    up vote
    15
    down vote









    I also spent a few years in a MENA country in an academic environment. As you say, eating food/drinking water in public during Ramadan was illegal, as were certain standards of dress, however my experience over the years was that this did not in any way mean that the individuals I lived and worked with (including those who were practicing Muslims) were by default unaccepting of my non-religiousness. I am curious why you say




    Surely, if they know I'm "non religious" it will annoy them.




    and




    So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral student, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.




    Perhaps you have more reason for believing these than you have included in your question, however, in my personal experience, none of my Muslim friends/co-workers ever expected me to conform to their religion. I certainly never pretended to be Muslim, and like other answers, suggest that you do not do this as this is likely to make the situation more awkward ('I converted to fit in' is probably not the best answer to give to an observant member of any religion).



    My advice is that perhaps this does not need to a bigger issue than any other lifestyle difference that you might have with your co-workers, and not to read too deeply into it (as in assuming they have some kind of expectation of you), unless they give you reason for it. Government polices do not necessarily reflect individual expectations. By all means, if you feel unhealthy pressure or feel unsafe, don't stay. Otherwise, similar situations where there is a difference in lifestyle/culture between members of the group occur all the time.



    Perhaps another group you join might go out regularly for coffee/alcohol when you are unable to join for dietary/religious reasons, or in another group everyone else has kids, so leaves early, or do play-dates on the weekend. But in such situations, the activity you have to miss out on is surely not the only way to build rapport/respect within your group and strengthen your relationship with your supervisor. So if there is no actual pressure for you to have the same religious beliefs, try to decide if you're bothered by their religious belief. If not, then focus your energy on finding some other topic/hobby that you have in common. If both you and they are respectful of differences, there may be no debate to 'open'.






    share|improve this answer










    New contributor




    The Hagen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
    Check out our Code of Conduct.









    I also spent a few years in a MENA country in an academic environment. As you say, eating food/drinking water in public during Ramadan was illegal, as were certain standards of dress, however my experience over the years was that this did not in any way mean that the individuals I lived and worked with (including those who were practicing Muslims) were by default unaccepting of my non-religiousness. I am curious why you say




    Surely, if they know I'm "non religious" it will annoy them.




    and




    So even if my supervisor is kind enough as well as his other doctoral student, but they will be disappointed if he know my situation.




    Perhaps you have more reason for believing these than you have included in your question, however, in my personal experience, none of my Muslim friends/co-workers ever expected me to conform to their religion. I certainly never pretended to be Muslim, and like other answers, suggest that you do not do this as this is likely to make the situation more awkward ('I converted to fit in' is probably not the best answer to give to an observant member of any religion).



    My advice is that perhaps this does not need to a bigger issue than any other lifestyle difference that you might have with your co-workers, and not to read too deeply into it (as in assuming they have some kind of expectation of you), unless they give you reason for it. Government polices do not necessarily reflect individual expectations. By all means, if you feel unhealthy pressure or feel unsafe, don't stay. Otherwise, similar situations where there is a difference in lifestyle/culture between members of the group occur all the time.



    Perhaps another group you join might go out regularly for coffee/alcohol when you are unable to join for dietary/religious reasons, or in another group everyone else has kids, so leaves early, or do play-dates on the weekend. But in such situations, the activity you have to miss out on is surely not the only way to build rapport/respect within your group and strengthen your relationship with your supervisor. So if there is no actual pressure for you to have the same religious beliefs, try to decide if you're bothered by their religious belief. If not, then focus your energy on finding some other topic/hobby that you have in common. If both you and they are respectful of differences, there may be no debate to 'open'.







    share|improve this answer










    New contributor




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    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer








    edited yesterday





















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    answered yesterday









    The Hagen

    1514




    1514




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    • 1




      I totally agree with you, if you are a foreigner and you work with them, even if you are not religious it will not create any problem, it will be okay.. Here for example the tourists can eat during Ramadan, and the restorants are open for them .. but not to the citizen of the country
      – Motaka
      21 hours ago














    • 1




      I totally agree with you, if you are a foreigner and you work with them, even if you are not religious it will not create any problem, it will be okay.. Here for example the tourists can eat during Ramadan, and the restorants are open for them .. but not to the citizen of the country
      – Motaka
      21 hours ago








    1




    1




    I totally agree with you, if you are a foreigner and you work with them, even if you are not religious it will not create any problem, it will be okay.. Here for example the tourists can eat during Ramadan, and the restorants are open for them .. but not to the citizen of the country
    – Motaka
    21 hours ago




    I totally agree with you, if you are a foreigner and you work with them, even if you are not religious it will not create any problem, it will be okay.. Here for example the tourists can eat during Ramadan, and the restorants are open for them .. but not to the citizen of the country
    – Motaka
    21 hours ago










    up vote
    8
    down vote













    ~Note: I am an American, and while I studied at a largely international college with large populations of all major religions, my answer may not accurately reflect cultural expectations in other countries.~



    First of all, I do not think that you should pretend to be religious if you are not. It sounds like it would be quite uncomfortable for you, and could lead to many negative feelings if they found out that you had been lying.



    Instead, it sounds like you should have a conversation with your professor. It is not reasonable to ask him or other students to refrain from praying. However, it seems like your biggest concern is that it feels awkward and you do not want them to judge you for being non-religious. The easiest way to deal with this is to tell your professor about your concerns and ask honestly if he is bothered by it.



    Tell him that you have noticed that he and the other students go pray together and that you have felt uncomfortable by being the only one who does not because you worry that he could be annoyed or feel disrespected by your lack of participation. He will likely say that it does not bother him that you are not religious, although he may be curious as to why you are not if that is the norm.



    At the end of the day, if he is uncomfortable having a non-religious student, he may not be a good fit for you. Knowing that will allow you to decide what to do next. It may be possible to change advisors or it may not, but you won't lose anything by having a polite and honest conversation.






    share|improve this answer








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    • 1




      Thank you for your answer, as you said, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with others, but I think It's not to me to open a this discussion, but if they want to discuss someday I will be honest.
      – Motaka
      yesterday















    up vote
    8
    down vote













    ~Note: I am an American, and while I studied at a largely international college with large populations of all major religions, my answer may not accurately reflect cultural expectations in other countries.~



    First of all, I do not think that you should pretend to be religious if you are not. It sounds like it would be quite uncomfortable for you, and could lead to many negative feelings if they found out that you had been lying.



    Instead, it sounds like you should have a conversation with your professor. It is not reasonable to ask him or other students to refrain from praying. However, it seems like your biggest concern is that it feels awkward and you do not want them to judge you for being non-religious. The easiest way to deal with this is to tell your professor about your concerns and ask honestly if he is bothered by it.



    Tell him that you have noticed that he and the other students go pray together and that you have felt uncomfortable by being the only one who does not because you worry that he could be annoyed or feel disrespected by your lack of participation. He will likely say that it does not bother him that you are not religious, although he may be curious as to why you are not if that is the norm.



    At the end of the day, if he is uncomfortable having a non-religious student, he may not be a good fit for you. Knowing that will allow you to decide what to do next. It may be possible to change advisors or it may not, but you won't lose anything by having a polite and honest conversation.






    share|improve this answer








    New contributor




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    • 1




      Thank you for your answer, as you said, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with others, but I think It's not to me to open a this discussion, but if they want to discuss someday I will be honest.
      – Motaka
      yesterday













    up vote
    8
    down vote










    up vote
    8
    down vote









    ~Note: I am an American, and while I studied at a largely international college with large populations of all major religions, my answer may not accurately reflect cultural expectations in other countries.~



    First of all, I do not think that you should pretend to be religious if you are not. It sounds like it would be quite uncomfortable for you, and could lead to many negative feelings if they found out that you had been lying.



    Instead, it sounds like you should have a conversation with your professor. It is not reasonable to ask him or other students to refrain from praying. However, it seems like your biggest concern is that it feels awkward and you do not want them to judge you for being non-religious. The easiest way to deal with this is to tell your professor about your concerns and ask honestly if he is bothered by it.



    Tell him that you have noticed that he and the other students go pray together and that you have felt uncomfortable by being the only one who does not because you worry that he could be annoyed or feel disrespected by your lack of participation. He will likely say that it does not bother him that you are not religious, although he may be curious as to why you are not if that is the norm.



    At the end of the day, if he is uncomfortable having a non-religious student, he may not be a good fit for you. Knowing that will allow you to decide what to do next. It may be possible to change advisors or it may not, but you won't lose anything by having a polite and honest conversation.






    share|improve this answer








    New contributor




    A Polyphony of Pirates is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
    Check out our Code of Conduct.









    ~Note: I am an American, and while I studied at a largely international college with large populations of all major religions, my answer may not accurately reflect cultural expectations in other countries.~



    First of all, I do not think that you should pretend to be religious if you are not. It sounds like it would be quite uncomfortable for you, and could lead to many negative feelings if they found out that you had been lying.



    Instead, it sounds like you should have a conversation with your professor. It is not reasonable to ask him or other students to refrain from praying. However, it seems like your biggest concern is that it feels awkward and you do not want them to judge you for being non-religious. The easiest way to deal with this is to tell your professor about your concerns and ask honestly if he is bothered by it.



    Tell him that you have noticed that he and the other students go pray together and that you have felt uncomfortable by being the only one who does not because you worry that he could be annoyed or feel disrespected by your lack of participation. He will likely say that it does not bother him that you are not religious, although he may be curious as to why you are not if that is the norm.



    At the end of the day, if he is uncomfortable having a non-religious student, he may not be a good fit for you. Knowing that will allow you to decide what to do next. It may be possible to change advisors or it may not, but you won't lose anything by having a polite and honest conversation.







    share|improve this answer








    New contributor




    A Polyphony of Pirates is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer






    New contributor




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    answered yesterday









    A Polyphony of Pirates

    2935




    2935




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    • 1




      Thank you for your answer, as you said, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with others, but I think It's not to me to open a this discussion, but if they want to discuss someday I will be honest.
      – Motaka
      yesterday














    • 1




      Thank you for your answer, as you said, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with others, but I think It's not to me to open a this discussion, but if they want to discuss someday I will be honest.
      – Motaka
      yesterday








    1




    1




    Thank you for your answer, as you said, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with others, but I think It's not to me to open a this discussion, but if they want to discuss someday I will be honest.
    – Motaka
    yesterday




    Thank you for your answer, as you said, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with others, but I think It's not to me to open a this discussion, but if they want to discuss someday I will be honest.
    – Motaka
    yesterday










    up vote
    7
    down vote













    I am in the U.S., obviously a very different culture.



    The way I think things OUGHT to work is this: If these people you work with have different religious beliefs than you and so periodically go off and pray or do whatever related to their religion, they should not pressure you to participate or penalize you in any way for not participating, and likewise you should not pressure them to not do this. They have the right to practice their religion, and you have the right to practice yours or not practice any.



    I don't see why this should be any different than any other difference of interests. Suppose I worked with a group of people who, say, all loved to eat Italian food, and I don't like Italian food, and periodically they all go to lunch together at an Italian restaurant. It would be rude for them to pressure me to eat Italian food just because they like it. But it would be even more rude for me to say they shouldn't eat Italian food because I don't like it, or to complain that I am left out because I don't share their taste in food.



    I think you should just accept that you don't share this particular interest with your co-workers and that this inevitably means that you will not share certain activities with them. I'd say, so what?






    share|improve this answer

















    • 6




      Although I agree with the sentiment expressed in this answer, I don't think it's very helpful to the OP to express the wish that everybody in the world should just get along with everybody regardless of personal beliefs, which is essentially what you're saying, but not the reality everywhere. In particular, the impact of religion on life is vastly greater than the impact of food preferences.
      – gerrit
      18 hours ago










    • I'm sorry if I was unclear. My relevant point is not that EVERYONE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. I'd say that's true but as you say, the OP can't make that happen. What I'm trying to say is that HE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. If others want to practice a religion that he does not share, he can politely not participate. There is no reason for him to complain or turn it into a battle. Just politely say "have a good time" or whatever is appropriate when they leave.
      – Jay
      8 hours ago















    up vote
    7
    down vote













    I am in the U.S., obviously a very different culture.



    The way I think things OUGHT to work is this: If these people you work with have different religious beliefs than you and so periodically go off and pray or do whatever related to their religion, they should not pressure you to participate or penalize you in any way for not participating, and likewise you should not pressure them to not do this. They have the right to practice their religion, and you have the right to practice yours or not practice any.



    I don't see why this should be any different than any other difference of interests. Suppose I worked with a group of people who, say, all loved to eat Italian food, and I don't like Italian food, and periodically they all go to lunch together at an Italian restaurant. It would be rude for them to pressure me to eat Italian food just because they like it. But it would be even more rude for me to say they shouldn't eat Italian food because I don't like it, or to complain that I am left out because I don't share their taste in food.



    I think you should just accept that you don't share this particular interest with your co-workers and that this inevitably means that you will not share certain activities with them. I'd say, so what?






    share|improve this answer

















    • 6




      Although I agree with the sentiment expressed in this answer, I don't think it's very helpful to the OP to express the wish that everybody in the world should just get along with everybody regardless of personal beliefs, which is essentially what you're saying, but not the reality everywhere. In particular, the impact of religion on life is vastly greater than the impact of food preferences.
      – gerrit
      18 hours ago










    • I'm sorry if I was unclear. My relevant point is not that EVERYONE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. I'd say that's true but as you say, the OP can't make that happen. What I'm trying to say is that HE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. If others want to practice a religion that he does not share, he can politely not participate. There is no reason for him to complain or turn it into a battle. Just politely say "have a good time" or whatever is appropriate when they leave.
      – Jay
      8 hours ago













    up vote
    7
    down vote










    up vote
    7
    down vote









    I am in the U.S., obviously a very different culture.



    The way I think things OUGHT to work is this: If these people you work with have different religious beliefs than you and so periodically go off and pray or do whatever related to their religion, they should not pressure you to participate or penalize you in any way for not participating, and likewise you should not pressure them to not do this. They have the right to practice their religion, and you have the right to practice yours or not practice any.



    I don't see why this should be any different than any other difference of interests. Suppose I worked with a group of people who, say, all loved to eat Italian food, and I don't like Italian food, and periodically they all go to lunch together at an Italian restaurant. It would be rude for them to pressure me to eat Italian food just because they like it. But it would be even more rude for me to say they shouldn't eat Italian food because I don't like it, or to complain that I am left out because I don't share their taste in food.



    I think you should just accept that you don't share this particular interest with your co-workers and that this inevitably means that you will not share certain activities with them. I'd say, so what?






    share|improve this answer












    I am in the U.S., obviously a very different culture.



    The way I think things OUGHT to work is this: If these people you work with have different religious beliefs than you and so periodically go off and pray or do whatever related to their religion, they should not pressure you to participate or penalize you in any way for not participating, and likewise you should not pressure them to not do this. They have the right to practice their religion, and you have the right to practice yours or not practice any.



    I don't see why this should be any different than any other difference of interests. Suppose I worked with a group of people who, say, all loved to eat Italian food, and I don't like Italian food, and periodically they all go to lunch together at an Italian restaurant. It would be rude for them to pressure me to eat Italian food just because they like it. But it would be even more rude for me to say they shouldn't eat Italian food because I don't like it, or to complain that I am left out because I don't share their taste in food.



    I think you should just accept that you don't share this particular interest with your co-workers and that this inevitably means that you will not share certain activities with them. I'd say, so what?







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered yesterday









    Jay

    93535




    93535








    • 6




      Although I agree with the sentiment expressed in this answer, I don't think it's very helpful to the OP to express the wish that everybody in the world should just get along with everybody regardless of personal beliefs, which is essentially what you're saying, but not the reality everywhere. In particular, the impact of religion on life is vastly greater than the impact of food preferences.
      – gerrit
      18 hours ago










    • I'm sorry if I was unclear. My relevant point is not that EVERYONE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. I'd say that's true but as you say, the OP can't make that happen. What I'm trying to say is that HE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. If others want to practice a religion that he does not share, he can politely not participate. There is no reason for him to complain or turn it into a battle. Just politely say "have a good time" or whatever is appropriate when they leave.
      – Jay
      8 hours ago














    • 6




      Although I agree with the sentiment expressed in this answer, I don't think it's very helpful to the OP to express the wish that everybody in the world should just get along with everybody regardless of personal beliefs, which is essentially what you're saying, but not the reality everywhere. In particular, the impact of religion on life is vastly greater than the impact of food preferences.
      – gerrit
      18 hours ago










    • I'm sorry if I was unclear. My relevant point is not that EVERYONE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. I'd say that's true but as you say, the OP can't make that happen. What I'm trying to say is that HE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. If others want to practice a religion that he does not share, he can politely not participate. There is no reason for him to complain or turn it into a battle. Just politely say "have a good time" or whatever is appropriate when they leave.
      – Jay
      8 hours ago








    6




    6




    Although I agree with the sentiment expressed in this answer, I don't think it's very helpful to the OP to express the wish that everybody in the world should just get along with everybody regardless of personal beliefs, which is essentially what you're saying, but not the reality everywhere. In particular, the impact of religion on life is vastly greater than the impact of food preferences.
    – gerrit
    18 hours ago




    Although I agree with the sentiment expressed in this answer, I don't think it's very helpful to the OP to express the wish that everybody in the world should just get along with everybody regardless of personal beliefs, which is essentially what you're saying, but not the reality everywhere. In particular, the impact of religion on life is vastly greater than the impact of food preferences.
    – gerrit
    18 hours ago












    I'm sorry if I was unclear. My relevant point is not that EVERYONE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. I'd say that's true but as you say, the OP can't make that happen. What I'm trying to say is that HE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. If others want to practice a religion that he does not share, he can politely not participate. There is no reason for him to complain or turn it into a battle. Just politely say "have a good time" or whatever is appropriate when they leave.
    – Jay
    8 hours ago




    I'm sorry if I was unclear. My relevant point is not that EVERYONE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. I'd say that's true but as you say, the OP can't make that happen. What I'm trying to say is that HE should be tolerant of other's religious beliefs. If others want to practice a religion that he does not share, he can politely not participate. There is no reason for him to complain or turn it into a battle. Just politely say "have a good time" or whatever is appropriate when they leave.
    – Jay
    8 hours ago










    up vote
    4
    down vote













    It depends on which country you are talking about in the middle east. I'm from Iran and I would say not participating in religious practices is really common among young people and if somebody attends those religious practices will be mocked heavily. For the rest of my answer, I assume you are living somewhere maybe in the Arabic countries of the middle east. Also, my answer is not really depends on your relationship with the ones that have strict religious beliefs (it means you can replace your supervisor or his students with anybody else like your friends, family, etc.). Also, I assume you are a Muslim by born (it means you are Muslim cause your mother and father are Muslims) and then you changed your mind based on your personal thoughts.



    You mentioned that all of them will pray at the pray time but you don't join them, and some people here suggested that it may implicitly implies that you are not a believer and if they didn't tell you something until now, it's quite OK in their opinion. Unfortunately: It's not true!. It means at the best they just think you may have a good religious reason (e.g. had sex last night and didn't wash your body) and because of that good religious reason you can't join them. Or, for whatever reason you prefer to pray privately.



    The main key point is: Did ever your supervisor or his students tell you why you don't participate in their religious practices?



    It is a really serious problem if you are Muslim by born and when you grew up you changed your mind to not to be a religious person. In fact, in Islam beliefs, it's not like you can change your mind after sometime and they welcome you and wish you good luck with your personal thoughts and ideas! It could cost you your life (seriously!). But as far as I know, their rule is that if somebody don't believe in Islam or for whatever reason changed his/her mind to not follow Islam's rules, you would be safe as long as you don't express your ideas in any way to the public and your society. This means if your supervisor or his students asked you about why you don't participate in their religious practices? You need to have a really unimportant or common reason for it and not saying I don't believe in your beliefs! I mean you should say I'm a practitioner certainly but for some reason like being sick at the moment, I could not attend those practices with you. Otherwise, if you want to express your true beliefs that you don't believe in Islam, it will lead to a lengthy discussion with them about why you don't do it and they will try to convince you and if you don't accept their ideas it makes the problem bigger and bigger. So, for every time just bring a fake reason and move on, or better idea is: to not to be there when they are practicing their religion. Also, Buffy suggested you to change your location. Honestly, it is not really easy to relocate to somewhere else when you are from middle east and it may be your long-term goal rather than a short-time answer to your question and your situation that you are trying to deal with it.






    share|improve this answer



























      up vote
      4
      down vote













      It depends on which country you are talking about in the middle east. I'm from Iran and I would say not participating in religious practices is really common among young people and if somebody attends those religious practices will be mocked heavily. For the rest of my answer, I assume you are living somewhere maybe in the Arabic countries of the middle east. Also, my answer is not really depends on your relationship with the ones that have strict religious beliefs (it means you can replace your supervisor or his students with anybody else like your friends, family, etc.). Also, I assume you are a Muslim by born (it means you are Muslim cause your mother and father are Muslims) and then you changed your mind based on your personal thoughts.



      You mentioned that all of them will pray at the pray time but you don't join them, and some people here suggested that it may implicitly implies that you are not a believer and if they didn't tell you something until now, it's quite OK in their opinion. Unfortunately: It's not true!. It means at the best they just think you may have a good religious reason (e.g. had sex last night and didn't wash your body) and because of that good religious reason you can't join them. Or, for whatever reason you prefer to pray privately.



      The main key point is: Did ever your supervisor or his students tell you why you don't participate in their religious practices?



      It is a really serious problem if you are Muslim by born and when you grew up you changed your mind to not to be a religious person. In fact, in Islam beliefs, it's not like you can change your mind after sometime and they welcome you and wish you good luck with your personal thoughts and ideas! It could cost you your life (seriously!). But as far as I know, their rule is that if somebody don't believe in Islam or for whatever reason changed his/her mind to not follow Islam's rules, you would be safe as long as you don't express your ideas in any way to the public and your society. This means if your supervisor or his students asked you about why you don't participate in their religious practices? You need to have a really unimportant or common reason for it and not saying I don't believe in your beliefs! I mean you should say I'm a practitioner certainly but for some reason like being sick at the moment, I could not attend those practices with you. Otherwise, if you want to express your true beliefs that you don't believe in Islam, it will lead to a lengthy discussion with them about why you don't do it and they will try to convince you and if you don't accept their ideas it makes the problem bigger and bigger. So, for every time just bring a fake reason and move on, or better idea is: to not to be there when they are practicing their religion. Also, Buffy suggested you to change your location. Honestly, it is not really easy to relocate to somewhere else when you are from middle east and it may be your long-term goal rather than a short-time answer to your question and your situation that you are trying to deal with it.






      share|improve this answer

























        up vote
        4
        down vote










        up vote
        4
        down vote









        It depends on which country you are talking about in the middle east. I'm from Iran and I would say not participating in religious practices is really common among young people and if somebody attends those religious practices will be mocked heavily. For the rest of my answer, I assume you are living somewhere maybe in the Arabic countries of the middle east. Also, my answer is not really depends on your relationship with the ones that have strict religious beliefs (it means you can replace your supervisor or his students with anybody else like your friends, family, etc.). Also, I assume you are a Muslim by born (it means you are Muslim cause your mother and father are Muslims) and then you changed your mind based on your personal thoughts.



        You mentioned that all of them will pray at the pray time but you don't join them, and some people here suggested that it may implicitly implies that you are not a believer and if they didn't tell you something until now, it's quite OK in their opinion. Unfortunately: It's not true!. It means at the best they just think you may have a good religious reason (e.g. had sex last night and didn't wash your body) and because of that good religious reason you can't join them. Or, for whatever reason you prefer to pray privately.



        The main key point is: Did ever your supervisor or his students tell you why you don't participate in their religious practices?



        It is a really serious problem if you are Muslim by born and when you grew up you changed your mind to not to be a religious person. In fact, in Islam beliefs, it's not like you can change your mind after sometime and they welcome you and wish you good luck with your personal thoughts and ideas! It could cost you your life (seriously!). But as far as I know, their rule is that if somebody don't believe in Islam or for whatever reason changed his/her mind to not follow Islam's rules, you would be safe as long as you don't express your ideas in any way to the public and your society. This means if your supervisor or his students asked you about why you don't participate in their religious practices? You need to have a really unimportant or common reason for it and not saying I don't believe in your beliefs! I mean you should say I'm a practitioner certainly but for some reason like being sick at the moment, I could not attend those practices with you. Otherwise, if you want to express your true beliefs that you don't believe in Islam, it will lead to a lengthy discussion with them about why you don't do it and they will try to convince you and if you don't accept their ideas it makes the problem bigger and bigger. So, for every time just bring a fake reason and move on, or better idea is: to not to be there when they are practicing their religion. Also, Buffy suggested you to change your location. Honestly, it is not really easy to relocate to somewhere else when you are from middle east and it may be your long-term goal rather than a short-time answer to your question and your situation that you are trying to deal with it.






        share|improve this answer














        It depends on which country you are talking about in the middle east. I'm from Iran and I would say not participating in religious practices is really common among young people and if somebody attends those religious practices will be mocked heavily. For the rest of my answer, I assume you are living somewhere maybe in the Arabic countries of the middle east. Also, my answer is not really depends on your relationship with the ones that have strict religious beliefs (it means you can replace your supervisor or his students with anybody else like your friends, family, etc.). Also, I assume you are a Muslim by born (it means you are Muslim cause your mother and father are Muslims) and then you changed your mind based on your personal thoughts.



        You mentioned that all of them will pray at the pray time but you don't join them, and some people here suggested that it may implicitly implies that you are not a believer and if they didn't tell you something until now, it's quite OK in their opinion. Unfortunately: It's not true!. It means at the best they just think you may have a good religious reason (e.g. had sex last night and didn't wash your body) and because of that good religious reason you can't join them. Or, for whatever reason you prefer to pray privately.



        The main key point is: Did ever your supervisor or his students tell you why you don't participate in their religious practices?



        It is a really serious problem if you are Muslim by born and when you grew up you changed your mind to not to be a religious person. In fact, in Islam beliefs, it's not like you can change your mind after sometime and they welcome you and wish you good luck with your personal thoughts and ideas! It could cost you your life (seriously!). But as far as I know, their rule is that if somebody don't believe in Islam or for whatever reason changed his/her mind to not follow Islam's rules, you would be safe as long as you don't express your ideas in any way to the public and your society. This means if your supervisor or his students asked you about why you don't participate in their religious practices? You need to have a really unimportant or common reason for it and not saying I don't believe in your beliefs! I mean you should say I'm a practitioner certainly but for some reason like being sick at the moment, I could not attend those practices with you. Otherwise, if you want to express your true beliefs that you don't believe in Islam, it will lead to a lengthy discussion with them about why you don't do it and they will try to convince you and if you don't accept their ideas it makes the problem bigger and bigger. So, for every time just bring a fake reason and move on, or better idea is: to not to be there when they are practicing their religion. Also, Buffy suggested you to change your location. Honestly, it is not really easy to relocate to somewhere else when you are from middle east and it may be your long-term goal rather than a short-time answer to your question and your situation that you are trying to deal with it.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited 11 hours ago

























        answered 11 hours ago









        Alone Programmer

        6921320




        6921320






















            up vote
            1
            down vote














            how do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
            Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once
            and for all? Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?




            It is up to you. If you feel encouraged to accompany them, then you can tell them to inform you, and tell them that you want to accompany them. Otherwise you should not go even if they invite you, you should tell them not to invite you as you do not prefer to.



            Religion is something personal. Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray.



            In my opinion you should not open debate about this unless if you are interested about knowing more about what they are doing.



            Your supervisor has certain rules and regulations to evaluate you. None of them can be praying. Even in the most religious countries. So you should not worry.



            An no, you should not pretend to be like them and pray like them. If you do this, you are wasting your time. Your prayers should have meaning to you, and should make you feel better. If this is not the case with you, no one, including God, need it from you.






            share|improve this answer

















            • 1




              "Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray." Are you sure?!
              – Alone Programmer
              11 hours ago















            up vote
            1
            down vote














            how do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
            Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once
            and for all? Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?




            It is up to you. If you feel encouraged to accompany them, then you can tell them to inform you, and tell them that you want to accompany them. Otherwise you should not go even if they invite you, you should tell them not to invite you as you do not prefer to.



            Religion is something personal. Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray.



            In my opinion you should not open debate about this unless if you are interested about knowing more about what they are doing.



            Your supervisor has certain rules and regulations to evaluate you. None of them can be praying. Even in the most religious countries. So you should not worry.



            An no, you should not pretend to be like them and pray like them. If you do this, you are wasting your time. Your prayers should have meaning to you, and should make you feel better. If this is not the case with you, no one, including God, need it from you.






            share|improve this answer

















            • 1




              "Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray." Are you sure?!
              – Alone Programmer
              11 hours ago













            up vote
            1
            down vote










            up vote
            1
            down vote










            how do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
            Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once
            and for all? Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?




            It is up to you. If you feel encouraged to accompany them, then you can tell them to inform you, and tell them that you want to accompany them. Otherwise you should not go even if they invite you, you should tell them not to invite you as you do not prefer to.



            Religion is something personal. Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray.



            In my opinion you should not open debate about this unless if you are interested about knowing more about what they are doing.



            Your supervisor has certain rules and regulations to evaluate you. None of them can be praying. Even in the most religious countries. So you should not worry.



            An no, you should not pretend to be like them and pray like them. If you do this, you are wasting your time. Your prayers should have meaning to you, and should make you feel better. If this is not the case with you, no one, including God, need it from you.






            share|improve this answer













            how do I react to a situation in which they all go to pray except me?
            Do you think I have to open this debate with them, and close it once
            and for all? Should I to pretend to be like them, pray with them?




            It is up to you. If you feel encouraged to accompany them, then you can tell them to inform you, and tell them that you want to accompany them. Otherwise you should not go even if they invite you, you should tell them not to invite you as you do not prefer to.



            Religion is something personal. Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray.



            In my opinion you should not open debate about this unless if you are interested about knowing more about what they are doing.



            Your supervisor has certain rules and regulations to evaluate you. None of them can be praying. Even in the most religious countries. So you should not worry.



            An no, you should not pretend to be like them and pray like them. If you do this, you are wasting your time. Your prayers should have meaning to you, and should make you feel better. If this is not the case with you, no one, including God, need it from you.







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered yesterday









            user9371654

            2372




            2372








            • 1




              "Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray." Are you sure?!
              – Alone Programmer
              11 hours ago














            • 1




              "Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray." Are you sure?!
              – Alone Programmer
              11 hours ago








            1




            1




            "Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray." Are you sure?!
            – Alone Programmer
            11 hours ago




            "Even in Muslim countries, no one can force you to pray." Are you sure?!
            – Alone Programmer
            11 hours ago





            protected by StrongBad 10 hours ago



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